Thursday, August 8, 2013

Mountain Dew Cake

Spent a lot of time today thinking about exercise.
Specifically, how I hate it.
I really do.
All of it.

Yeah, I get it, you're supposed to exercise three times a week and it's good for your body and it's good for your joints and it's good for your blood pressure and it's good for your mental well-being and blah blah blah.


I still hate it.

Experts are all like "find some exercise you truly enjoy and just do it!!!!"  Yeah, bugger off. I truly enjoy sitting at my computer, scrolling through weird bug articles on Cracked and eating fancy cheese.

And lifting weights. Maybe I should ask my husband for a Bowflex for Christmas? Set that sucker up right by the computer. Do bicep curls with one hand and shove fancy cheese in my mouth with the other. Use my feet to play Warcraft.

Here's some Mountain Dew cake. Classic gamer food. It could only be more classicker if you dusted it on top with crushed Flaming Cheetos.


1½ cups (3 sticks) butter, softened
3 cups sugar
5 eggs
1 tablespoon vanilla
1 tablespoon lemon extract
3 cups flour
1 cup (8 ounces) Mountain Dew, any variety
2 tablespoons Mountain Dew
1 tablespoon lemon or lime juice
2½ - 3 cups of powdered sugar

1) Preheat your oven to 325º. Grease a bundt pan, or 2 loaf pans, very well with butter or coconut oil and put them in the refrigerator.
2) Cream together the butter & sugar until they look like mashed potatoes. Make sure it's nice & soft & well blended.
3) Add in the eggs, one at a time, and mix well after each addition. When you can no longer see any yellow from yolk, go ahead and add in the next egg.
4) Mix in the vanilla and lemon extract.
5) Add in a little flour, then a little soda. Go back & forth, alternating between a little flour & a little soda, until it's all mixed in. I do it in thirds (1 cup flour, 1/3 cup of soda). Mix on low to medium until the batter is foamy and thick.
Slightly overcooked. Still good.
6) Now take your pan(s) out of the fridge and scoop your batter in. Bake at 325º for approximately 60 to 75 minutes. The cake is finished when the top is golden brown and doesn't look like pudding anymore. Let cool completely, and turn the cake out onto a plate or cake platter, before putting on the glaze.
7) The glaze: whisk together the soda, lemon or lime juice, and 1½ cups of powdered sugar in a medium bowl, until it's an even consistency. Then add in powdered sugar--keep whisking!--half cup by half cup, until you get a nice, thick, creamy glaze. Pour it on!

 I like to put cakes immediately into the refrigerator after glazing, just to make sure that the glaze stays put where I artistically (haphazardly) poured it.  You're going to end up with a lot of glaze from this one, but you can just pour all the excess right into the middle hold of the bundt cake. That's the way gamers like it--extra sugary.

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